Two kids are a lot harder than one. I'll just put it straight and simple. With just Aria, I could give her my complete attention all the time. Now with Izen and Aria, I have to split my time. There is nothing more heartbreaking for me than telling Aria I can't blow bubbles with her because I have to feed brother, or having to tell her I can't set her on my lap because brother is feeding, or tell her we have to wait to eat dinner because... yes, you guessed it, brother is eating. She has been SUCH a good sport about it though. She's loves her little brother so much. Every chance she gets, she is kissing him and getting real close to his face and whispering, "oh baby Izeeee." Completely adorable. She always wants to hold him and get his binky for him. She isn't too fond of his crying though. I've noticed that lately, when Izen goes on one of his crying spells, she disappears. She usually goes upstairs and plays with her toys by herself or she'll go sit in the family room and find something to play with. She's not very fond of the screaming- but who is? Poor girl. and poor guy! We've recently discovered that little man could possibly have Silent Reflux. He shows all the signs and he's always crying in pain- you know- the sad, break your heart little cry. He hasn't been sleeping either... like at all. Oh how I miss my pillow and cuddling with Spenser all night. Instead our nights are spent rocking and shhh-ing our sweet baby boy. I keep telling myself things will get better- because they will. I know that. It doesn't last forever- the crying all night that is. Unfortunately, baby blues have set in. Great. Things just got a bajillion time more tough. Luckily those don't last forever either. The first month of having a newborn is HARD. Luckily, I am incredibly blessed with a daughter who is the biggest help and so patient with mom. She loves me unconditionally and I am very grateful for that. I am also lucky to have Spenser in my life. He is the biggest part of my life, and is reminding me every day why I love him so much. He reassures me that Heavenly Father does hear my prayers, that my children do love me, and that I am a good mom and wife. He has also been so very patient with me- which I am also very grateful for.
Like I said, two kids is hard- but SO worth it. I will look back on these crazy times and miss them. As hard as that is to believe right now... I know I'll miss them. Besides, I am gaining some pretty funny stories from these experiences. In fact {just to share one} I got out of the shower the other night and noticed that my mascara was all smeared, so I went to go get eye make-up remover and went to go to work removing the goop. To my horror, I remembered I hadn't worn make-up that day and no mascara was coming off of my eyes. Lack of sleep had turned my once spry and youthful eyes, looking like the Cullen clan- dark and sleepy looking. Sad. Spenser had a good laugh when I told him that. Sigh... the sacrifices we make for our children. Good thing they are so stinking cute :)
But anyway, this was another venting post {sorry}. It helps to remind myself of the things I DO have instead of focusing on the things I am missing out on though. Here is to hoping this week goes better and that my optimism and faith stay brighter than they have been
{and perhaps that my children sleep a tad better through the night}.
You just vent away! All mothers would understand! Olivia had to deal with the same thing as Aria is. I was always busy with Weston but she was so great about it!
ReplyDeleteI promise it gets easier! I love having my kids as close as they are and they are best friends!
That's so comforting to hear. Most people say, "It get's worse." Thanks for letting me know it get's better :) {Your kids are A-dorable by the way}
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